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Updated: Apr 15

My father died at 39 years old. His third heart attack. Heavily addicted to cigarettes, he’d send me, a 5- year-old, many times to the store to buy them. Even in the hospital under oxygen his friends brought cigarettes. He was in the grips of nicotine addiction, and it killed him.

After his passing and years following, Mother emphatically related the doctor’s words, “Your girls MUST NEVER smoke. They’ll become addicted and die.” So, growing up, my older sister and I didn’t. Although after she married, she picked up the habit.

However, after marrying Gayle, a heavy smoker at 20 years old, I soon thought, “Why not? If you can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em. I proclaimed, trying to convince myself, I won’t get addicted.”  So, I smoked with him and our friends. Even though I was an adult and married, I’d hide (so I thought) what became a 1 ½ pack addiction from my mother, Gayle’s family, and later our children. For years, I relied on perfume sprays to cover up the smell of cigarettes on my clothes. But who was I fooling?

Many times, I tried to quit, but never could succeed. Not only was I physically dependent on nicotine, but had a strong emotional (psychological) dependence.  I even hid my cigarettes, but of course, I’d find them (DUH). One day I’d heard a woman wanted to be free of nicotine addiction so badly that she ate her pack of cigarettes. She regurgitated for hours, but came out set free. So, of course, I tried it; it didn’t work. I never got set free.

After failing repeatedly, at 33 years old I finally concluded I’m definitely in the grips of nicotine addiction. That painted a gloomy outlook with many depressing emotions arising. Not only was I dealing with all this, but in 1977 my world was also falling apart due to marriage problems, sickly babies (Kristi and Jack), and almost drowning financially. I was angry and hurting inside. In addition, throughout the years what the doctor told my mother always hung in the recesses of my mind, constantly nagging at me, “… addicted and die.” I was without hope.

But the God of all hope knew and sent Betty, an educator, to say, “Have faith in God” as Jack, our 9-month-old son, was admitted to the hospital. Plus, He sent Jack’s nurse who shared what Christ had done in, for, and through her life. At home four days later, I desperately called out, “If You, God, are really real, I want to know You and deliver me from these cigarettes.” Immediately the peace of God completely flooded me giving me a peace I’d never experienced before, and I was instantly set free and was born again – radically saved and on-fire for Jesus Christ!  Sadly, my sister in 1995 died at 55 years old during open heart surgery.

Maybe you want to desperately be set free from this addiction. Call out God to deliver you from this nicotine trap. For God says...

“…and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

 Psalms 50:15


Myrna Brogdon

Los Fresnos, Texas


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