It was September 2017 and I had just found out I would have a baby with my high school sweetheart. Only, it wasn’t as picturesque as one would think. See a few months prior I had called off my wedding to a man I was with for 8 years. I had lost my grandma and just the month before finding out I was pregnant, I lost my mom to cancer. I was on a downward spiral and caught up in the life of drinking and going out. Not to mention my high school sweetheart was in his own mess that he had created and told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. I was so used to running to alcohol as a way to escape my problems, but now that was no longer an option. I was pregnant and dealing with the loss of my mother. I felt so alone. To be honest, even at 27, I had no idea how to be a mother. I remember being so desperate for advice on how to deal with everything, but the words of people would only help for a short period of time. One night I felt so helpless so I cried out to God and said, “If You are who the Bible says You are, You will get me through this. And if You do, I will follow You for the rest of my life.” The rest of my pregnancy felt like a rollercoaster between my baby’s father in and out of my life and still trying to grieve losing my mom. Every time I felt like giving up, God would send these wonderful people to give me a sign of hope. They were not people close to me and had no idea what was going on in my life. One Sunday the Pastor of my church prophesied over me and told me, “There will be a new horizon for you. Just hold on and don’t give up!” Then he asked me what my favorite color was and I responded with green and he said, “Your new favorite color will be blue.” See what the pastor didn’t know was the night before I had gotten into a big fight with my baby’s father and I had that feeling of hopelessness. Five months after this took place, my son’s father and I decided to try to work things out. You see while God was working on me God was also working on him and with God’s perfect timing, He turned a mess into something beautiful. We have been married three and a half years now and have two boys together and I am blessed with two bonus sons. The pastor was right; my new favorite color would be blue because now I am surrounded by all boys! I get to witness God’s faithfulness and promises every day when I look at the family He has blessed me with.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1